Why Magic?

“Psssshhhhh!” My 3 yr old splaying her fingers out, spews magic all over the windows. “Look! I froze the windows with my ice magic like Elsa!”

“You don’t have magic, August. It’s not real. Magic is only in movies. The windows were already frozen when we came out here,” her 4 yr old brother sneers. “If you have magic, then make it snow.”

“I’ll try… Psssshhhhhh!”

“But it doesn’t snow in Houston. It’s impossible!”

Ironically, just then it starts to sleet… “See?!? I did it!”

“Sorry, but that’s not really snow, Doll. Though that was kinda like magic.” Their older brother, a wise 9-going-on-15 yr old, joins the conversation. “Keegan, magic does exist. Mama says so. There are lots of things that we don’t understand or can’t be explained… that’s all magic.”

Phoenix goes on to explain how Mama’s “surgeries” always make an owie feel better, Papa hugs can make them feel safe, Mama always knows what they’re doing although she’s in a different room, Papa can make technology work effortlessly, and Mama can turn a pile of random stuff from the pantry and fridge into a yummy meal… The little ones join in shouting about rainbows, the waves crashing on the shore, butterflies in their cocoons, leaves changing colors in the fall, babies growing in their mommies’ tummies, the colorful flowers in our garden popping up again in the spring after dying in the winter, mamas always know when their babies are sick and can make them better, the colors of a beautiful sunset, the silver glow of the moon at night… It’s all magic.

As we get older, we’re taught magic doesn’t exist and we lose our sense of wonder. Letting go of the “silliness of childhood” is supposed to be some grand sign of maturity, but there are so many wonderful sayings about old being a state of mind. I know 80 year olds who are younger at heart than some 20 year olds who are trying so hard to be “grown up.” We shouldn’t have to live that long to figure it out… Live in the moment, take it all in, and absorb the magic of everyday life right now, wherever you are on your journey.

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Why? Why? Why?

I just noticed as I started this post that all my post titles are questions… I wonder why that is and am trying to decide if I like it. 🙂

Our schedule has been crazy busy, and when it’s not, I’ve been either trying desperately to catch up on laundry or vegged out on the couch trying to rest (with 3 active kiddos, trying is the key word here).

One of the things I’ve been kicking around during my long commute is why I started this blog in the first place…

While I love the idea of being able to make a bit of money at it and will definitely have to come up with some sort of income before freedom day (7/31/15, when I leave my current job), really my idea was to share my findings with people. Like it or not, I’m an educator at heart. I love to teach (just not in the traditional way of course. Because why would I do anything traditionally? Ha!).  I know from past experience that most of the time when I let go of expectations and let something just happen as it’s intended to, I end up with something even better than I thought I’d wanted.

Ahem… two additional kiddos less than a year apart after docs said we couldn’t have any more without major intervention. 😉

So… My goal now is to post at least once a week, even if it’s only a quick tip or recipe. I’ve got lots of good stuff to share, and I’ll eventually get a decent camera and figure out how to upload pics to make it more interesting. 🙂

 

What If… I do succeed?

I’m so good at crazy “what if” thoughts… The most powerful and most fearful for me is “What if I succeed?”

I have no fear of failure. If I fail, well, that’s just fine. At least I tried, right? Get up, dust myself off, and move on. How many people are going to remember something I found horribly embarrassing next week? Next year? In the next 5 years? Does it really matter or make any difference in the grand scheme of things?

But what if I succeed…? People will remember. My life will change. Doors I never imagined will open, a whole world of overwhelming possibilities will be available, and how do I chose? I like my safe little hideaway spot where no one knows me and life is what it’s always been. Better the devil you know and all that.

Right now I’m standing on the edge of a huge life change. I’ve worked and gone to school and taken care of kids for as long as I can remember, but now I’m counting down the days till I leave my extremely stressful, unfulfilling “traditional” job. I have no idea yet what I’m going to do to make ends meet because we can’t quite make it on my hubby’s salary alone, even cutting back. I get that there are a lot of issues around self-worth and self-love which come into play when someone has a fear of success, but as I’m considering how my life is going to move forward, it’s truly the plethora of available options that intimidate me. It’s like when we’d visit our family on the farm in the middle of nowhere after growing up in the suburbs… You look up at the sky at night and are just blown away by how many stars there truly are. How do you pick a favorite?

This is idea to start my own business is something new… selling amazing homemade products and sharing what I’ve learned on my journey to natural health and living and adventurous recipes and my (usually) positive outlook on life. I had this crazy realization that all my friends’ and family’s encouragement is true… I can really do this. I can make this work. But then what?

Who has time for all this?

I had this great idea that I would start blogging and write at least every couple of days… But then my boys both started baseball, my grandma has been sick, some good friends moved away so we spent some often-missed time with them, my brother got sick and was in the hospital, and on and on… Not to mention I still have that pesky full-time job. And in the curse of perfectionism I though I’d gotten over, these things just became an excuse. Know thyself, right? 🙂

Life is busy, but in order to move on, I’ve got to get on it. It’s all about prioritizing.

I’ve found that saying, “I don’t have time for it” really means, “it’s not important enough for me to make time for it.” In all the craziness of the past two years, I’ve still managed to keep up with making my own shampoo, laundry detergent (except for once when we ran out and I had to go buy some… sigh), vanilla extract, hand soap, yogurt (ok so we just got burned out on this and recently started again), just to name a few. There are many other “hippie tree-hugger” things I get funny looks for. I just tell people they’d be surprised how easy these things are… don’t worry I’ll be posting recipes & instructions eventually. I may even figure out how to link back to them. 😉

How do you prioritize? Any easy ways to make the short 24 hours a day we’re given stretch a little further… I could sure use some help!

Howdy world!

So I’ve been kicking around this idea to start a blog for years… Years, I tell you! But I kept hemming and hawing cause I didn’t know what to do with it. I am a planner. Sort of. I have to have an idea of what I want it to be and then move on with it. But I also know that usually when I plan something it completely falls apart… Just ask about my wedding day I spent nearly a year and a half planning… What a mess! But hey, we did get married… Nearly 12 years ago now.

All the sudden the idea is really nagging at me, kicking hard, trying to get out. I just have to do it. I revealed my strife to a couple of dear friends yesterday, and today one said, “Well, did you start it yet?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t know where to start, I haven’t done any research yet on what to do,” blah, blah, blah…. A million more excuses.

“You should stop over-thinking it and just go for it already.”  Maybe that’s not exactly what she said, but that’s what I got out of it.  After ten years of working together and watching me over-complicate some very simple things, she knows me so well. And we speak the same odd language so we know when to read something into a conversation or not.

So… Here I am, taking the leap. Excited to share all sorts of good stuff that comes out of my crazy brain. Or is it crazy stuff that comes out of my good brain?  Ideas about life and magic, adventures in parenting, recipes, natural healing practices and home care (I am studying to be a naturopath after all), who knows what else? I’m all in. No turning back.